Living as we do in today's information age - with self help books everywhere - we seem to think that analyzing an issue will enable us to change it. But thinking is not doing.

You've probably heard this definition of insanity: doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting different results. If what we're doing is not getting the outcome we want, we must try doing something else. In my coaching I always have my clients agree to do specific tasks to achieve their goals and dreams.

There is a powerful reason for this. Doing the thing you're afraid of (and we're all afraid of something) causes the brain to completely rewire the whole concept of that fear. This removes the feeling of fear, replacing it with relief - and increased self-confidence.

Now, you're probably thinking, "But it's too scary to do the thing I'm afraid of." I would absolutely agree with this. Change is scary. Unfortunately, most people try to do the thing they are afraid of FULL ON - which just scares them more. It also convinces them that they have once again "failed". Why would they ever try to change this fear again?

What IS the answer? Well, we need to take tiny steps in the direction of our fear...and I do mean TINY! In NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) there is a principle that states, "you can do anything, if you break it down into tiny pieces" -and, this is the good part - "you could even eat a tire, if you broke it down to tiny pieces".

What a coach does first is help a person discover their life's purpose or passion - what the person wants to be known for. The coach then helps them create this by helping them decide which small steps they can take each week to create their desired outcome. Finally, a coach supports them until they have achieved their goals.

So, back to the title of this article. What is the common mistake to avoid? Trying to attempt too much change at one time. Break it down. And remember, we all need support when making changes. Whether through family or friends, a coach or a therapist, most people find that having support makes the difference between success and failure.

RESOURCES Susan Quinn, MFT Psychotherapy and Life Coaching. Visit my web site at www.susanquinn.net for my complementary Ezine, Susan Quinn's Power Therapies, or call me at 310-600-3458.