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Index › Self Enhancement › Fear Management Programs
 

10 Steps to Overcoming Fear: Public Enemy #1

 
Author: Victor Gonzalez
 

We cant hide our failures, let alone hide from them. It has been said that dentists mistakes are pulled; carpenters turn their mistakes into sawdust; doctors bury their failures and lawyers lock them up from the public view. For the rest of us, it seems as though the world is staring at every mistake we make.

A long time ago a friend revealed a saying that has always stuck with me and continues to serve as a reminder not to worry about outside opinions. The saying was, What you think of me, is none of my business. Every time I get the feeling others are watching and waiting for me to make an error or mistake, I remind myself of this saying. Most importantly, I remind myself that I am my worst critic and that I have the right and ability to choose what failure means to me.

Success depends on the way we interpret failure. If something doesnt turn out our way, we can choose to view it as a positive learning experience or view it as a negative experience and allow it to rob us of our energies to move forward.

Here are ten simple rules or guidelines to help you deal with and accept failure as beneficial part of the success process:

1) Appreciate the value of failure: Start believing that failure is there to help you get to your intended destination.

2) Dont take failure personally: Like success, failure plays no favorites; it is color-blind, gender-blind and agnostic.

3) Allow failure to redirect you: Failures are like road signs pointing you in the direction you need to be going instead of the way you were headed.

4) Laugh at yourself and at failure: Dont take yourself so seriously. Learn to enjoy the process of growth and the cycles of failure and success. When failure comes, just smirk at it with confidence and say, Im gonna figure this out, just you wait.

5) Ask and keep asking Why?: Always ask yourself why things didnt turn out the way you planned.

Self-analysis and evaluation are keys to learning from your failure and achieving eventual success.

6) Learn from failure: If you repeat the same mistakes over and over again you do yourself a disservice. There is a saying, The definition of an idiot is doing something the same way over and over again, yet expecting a different outcome. Growth is an iterative process of learning from your mistakes.

7) Dont let failure beat you down: Failure will try to convince you to give up. Failure will try to demoralize and destabilize your intent on success. Dont allow it. Think of failure as a helping hand and not as a fist trying to beat you down.

8) Use failure to measure your growth: All steps toward success can be measured by the distance you have traveled and by your personal and economic growth. Remember, growth comes from action and experience, not from standing still and doing nothing.

9) Zoom back and put failure in perspective: We always see ourselves as the center and most important object in life. Zoom back and take the time to appreciate all the good things that are happening to you. Zoom back and be grateful for all the little things you take for granted. Zoom back and realize that the majority of people in the world do not have the opportunities you have here in the United States.

10) Never give up: The biggest mistake you can make and the greatest failure you can experience is that of giving up and not trying. Do not fear failure. Fear giving up.

The most pathetic state of human nature is the total submission of body and soul. What holds us back or paralyzes us from trying is the fear of failure. But here too is an irony; if we are too fearful to act then we guarantee our failure.

The football coach Mike Ditka put it succinctly, You never really lose until you quit trying. We must learn to view failure as a healthy process of reaching success. We must learn that failure is a guide to success not an obstruction.

 
 
 

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