Just as most of us werent born with a silver spoon in our mouth, we werent born knowing how to make conversation. Making conversation is more of an art. Like any art, practice leads to mastery.

1. You can never go wrong with being a good listener.

This doesnt mean you should just sit there like a lump on a log, like my mother used to say. You need to be an active listener. People love to talk about themselves, so listening to them is a good way to let them have a captive audience.

For this you should practice:

A. Smiling - look natural. If you have a silly grin plastered on your face, people will think you are strange.

B. Nodding - the odd nod to show that you understand. This is not to be confused with nodding off.

C. Eye contact - this can be tricky. You dont want to stare at someone, thats just plain spooky. Looking away from time to time is fine.

D. Making occasional comments like: Really? I know exactly what you mean! You dont say!(Does anyone really say that anymore?)

2. The day before you go to your get-together, prepare yourself:

A. Read up - if you know someone who is going to be there is a zoologist and you think it might mean that he works at the zoo, read about the job and discover interesting facts you might be able to make conversation out of.

B. Internet Search - youve found out one of the other guests is from a different city, state or country. Google some interesting tidbits about that part of the world so you can ask about it. The more interested you are in others, the more interesting youll seem to them.

3. Follow the flow of the conversation:

Dont butt in - youve probably met or known a butt-in-er. You also know how annoying it can be, so unless the building is on fire, hold your tongue.

If someones made the mistake of starting a controversial topic, its better not to say much, even if you dont agree with whats being said. If you are wondering what controversial topics might be in this day and age, youve got a point.

Unless you are a pro, though, its not a good idea to make conversation by opening with politics, sex or religion.

4. Write out a list of conversation starters and practice them the day before:

Safe benign topics are best - Weve sure had a lot of rain, havent we? Do you have any special plans for Labor Day this year?

5. Find things to do with your hands if you are nervous:

Hold a beverage and sip it, from time to time.

If your palms are sweaty, wipe them occasionally on a napkin. (If your outfit has pockets, toss in some tissue before you leave the house. If you forgot the tissue, use the pocket!)

Pay attention to the conversations around you. Youll notice that the way most people around you make conversation is really predictable and not all that complicated. The more practice you get the easier it will be to make conversation like a pro!