"Research has clearly shown that we tend to live up to what is expected of us. A study in a Colorado school district illustrated this point dramatically. The researchers shuffled the records of two groups of students so that those with the lowest grades were placed in a class designated as gifted, while those students who had the best grades were placed in a class designated as average students. Can you guess what happened? The poor students in the "gifted" class dramatically outperformed the gifted students in the "average" class. If a classroom teacher's misunderstanding about students' past performance can produce such a dramatic result, just think what effect your own expectations have on your performance! So, check your expectations as you start each day; they may well shape tomorrow's reality."- Paul and Sarah Edwards, The Practical Dreamer's Handbook: Finding the Time, Money, and Energy to Live the Life You Want to Live When I was a little girl, my mother would often say, "Don't get your expectations up." She'd say this as a way of protecting me from life's small (and at times, large) disappointments. As I grew older, I would often hear this admonition in my mind even when she wasn't around. I tried to not expect too much out of life because if I did, there was the very good possibility that life would disappoint. I'm happy to say I'm almost rid of that pattern of thinking. Expectations can make or break us. When we continue to tell ourselves, "I'll never get the job I want," or "I'm (fill in the blank) and because of that, I'll never find love," we are sabotaging ourselves. These statements begin to color our entire day. Our vision becomes clouded by a depressing fog and we step through life with hesitation because we're convinced we're going to run into a wall. What to do? Start with baby steps. Begin the day by saying, "Another glorious day! I have another day to love those who are important to me and receive love from them." Expect to be loved. Greet people with a smile. I have had the best reactions from people when I smile at them. I like to smile. I like to especially smile at people who are grouchy and see if a kind word could change their day. From the responses I've received, I can tell that a simple smile can make a difference in someone's life. When we take our dreams seriously, we move toward those dreams becoming reality. When we expect to be loved, amazingly, we start to experience that, too. When we expect to do hard things and succeed, guess what? Success! In honor of great expectations, write down a few thoughts: 1. When I wake up in the morning, I expect to:
2. When I arrive at work, I expect to:
3. When I meet with my parents, I expect to:
4. When I retire, I expect to: Now, think of your dreams and write expectations that are more specifically geared to them. I've added a few possible responses in italics. 1. When I start to draw more regularly, I expect to: Finally get some ideas for my own line of greeting cards. Maybe even start to design a CD cover for my friend's band... 2. When I join a salsa dance class, I expect to: Have fun! Boy, do I need fun! And exercise! And maybe when I get really good, I can start to compete... 3. When I quit my boring job, I expect to: Start my own candy business. So many people at work rave about my confections, I'd like to try to sell them. I need a name, Cocoa Nuts? Sweet Creations? Hmmm... 4. When I start to volunteer at the homeless shelter, I expect to: Connect with those who need a helping hand. I expect to finally feel as though I'm making a difference. I might even write about my experiences, maybe pitch the idea as a series to my local newspaper... Today, begin to shape your own "tomorrow's reality." |
