What can couples do when they run across an issue where each person feels so strongly that there is no room for compromise? Is this an automatic deal breaker? The good news is that there are times in relationships when both partners feel strongly enough about their beliefs that neither can move nor come to the side of the other person. There are certainly some issues in marriage in which this could signal the end of the relationship. One spouse wanting children and the other spouse not wanting children comes to mind as an example. How to co-exist on an issue In most circumstances, however, couples can simply agree to disagree and move on. They learn to co-exist on the issue in question. I know of many couples who have taken this route on various issues and continue to have a very strong relationship. What can happen over time, after being given the room to each have his or her opinion, is that spouses are able to move into a healthy compromise. But even when couples remain in a co-existing position on an issue they can still have a great relationship. Consider some of these examples: Republican-Democrat, Black-White, Christian-Jew, Vegetarian-Meat Eater, Seminole-Gator, etc. All of these couples have learned how to co-exist on issues that are important to them. |
