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Index › Children › Affair & Relationships
 

Keeping Friends

 
Author: Francis Oyelami
 

Life is to be forfeited by many friendships,to love and to be loved,is the greatest happiness of existence. Do you wonder why some people have more friends than others? Such people may or may not be wealthy;they may or may mot have high intelligence or expensive education. But within them is an attitude causing them to be respected and admired. It is their ability to make friends and also keep them. People are a basic source of happiness. Making friends does not require too much effort,except for those that are shy to talk to people. And even the shy ones sometimes have a handful of friends because of their attitude of keeping friends. But the problem is to know how to keep your friends when you have one.

Friends are the reasons we smile. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like without friends? So,no matter how busy your schedule is,for you to keep your frinds,you have to develop a lifestyle and a way of dispensing time that allows several profound relationships with people. True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends you have, but in the worth and choice. Getting close to a few people is more important than being popular enough to receive 500 season's greeting cards every year.

Openness is a common characteristic of people that have deep and good friendship. Most people often hide behind masks,vacillating between the impulse to reveal themselves and the impulse to protect themselves with a blanket of privacy. They long both to be known and to remain hidden! Admiration does not necessarily lead to intimacy, because people around you admire your coolness does not mean they are your friends. But it has been noted that the more serious reason for our masks is the FEAR OF REJECTION, and that has always been even one of my problems. Taking a step of self-disclosure and then have a friend walk away can be vey devastating. Everyone has their shadow side and are quite reluctant to reveal this side to another so long as it scares us. But telling someone; a friend; about the dark side creates a chemistry to start working. Because we have told another our deepest secrets, we begin to understand ourselves better, especially when the friend is more experienced. When we reveal ourselves to someone else, we learn how to increase contact with our real self,and may then be able to direct our destiny on the basis of this self-knowledge.

You don't want people to see you as being sentimental, so you hold back expressions of warmth and miss out in what you also need,someone to extend words of warmth to you, rich and profound friendships. We say "SO LONG" when we mean "I WILL MISS YOU". Do you find yourself embarrased to tell a friend that you care? If you wish to be loved, love. Those that let their hearts go and freely declare their admiration and affection, are hard to turn down. Don't take this as an encouragement to spread love without caution;if you know what i mean. Why are we so ashamed of saying openly that we care for another? For several reasons, there is the possibility that we will be misunderstood. A man approaches a lady and extends a hand of friendship, but the lady quickly thinks he wants to marry me, or go to bed with me! HOW RIDICULOUS! So there is this fear that our overture of warmth will not be reciprocated and we will be rejected. There are few emotions more frightening than embarrassment,and we go to great lengths to avoid the possibility of it. But don't do this at the expense of getting real friends.

 
 
 

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